I don't get excited
about being naked in group situations. Sure, I've skinny-dipped,
played strip poker, streaked, and gone on my fair share
of gyno visits - but it's not as if these things helped
define who I am as a person. I did what I had to do and
then put my pants back on. Simply put, I love wearing
clothes. I love buying clothes even more. Strip me of
the joy of shopping and you've removed half the woman.
So now I hear that nudism is trendy. Not
for old hippies, but for people our age. The American
Association for Nude Recreation says the number of their
18- to 34-year-old members has increased by 50 percent
since 1994. According to Nicky Hoffman, the administrative
director of the Naturist Society (another organization
for nudists), almost a third of their members are in their
20s and 30s. And though there are still more guys than
girls, Nicky says she wouldn't be suprised if women soon
start to outnumber men. To see what the big deal is, I
flew to suburban Sacramento, California, site of Laguna
del Sol, one of the biggest nudist resorts in the country.
Needless to say, packing was a breeze.
"I never want
to buy a swimsuit again."
"Most people come here for the first
time out of curiosity," explains 36-year-old Patty
Sailors, a perky, intelligent brunette who, along with
her husband, manages Laguna. "The relaxing atmosphere
keeps them here." I'm standing with her in the carpeted
main office. We're both clothed, defying the hand-painted
sign on the wall announcing: THE UNIFORM FOR TODAY IS
BELLY BUTTONS. People around us are forking over four
bucks a night for campsites, $12 for RV hookups, and 90
bills for modern, air-conditioned rooms. Patty says she
expects a crowd of at least 500 this weekend.
Tie-dye T-shirts hang on a rack in the back
of the room. They're promoting Nudestock, a yearly Laguna
blowout that brings hot dogs, a cover band, and vast expanses
of uncovered genitals together under the sun. Nudists
seem to like theme events. There's even a Truman Capote-esque
Black-and-White Ball in April. I ask Patty how a nudist
can properly "dress" for such an event. "Oh,
people use lots of body paint," she laughs. "Some
guys even draw their tuxes on." Is that with our
without the cumberbund?
Patty gives me a tour of the grounds in
a silver golf card that looks like a mini Rolls-Royce.
As we putt along, she explains that all guests are taken
on tours like this - not just as a courtesy, but also
to weed out the freaks. "We make sure this is not
a sexual environment," says Patty. Laguna bills itself
as a family resort, and everything whiffs of kids, couples
and young singles keeping their hands to themselves. But
about one in 70 people is turned away because they're
married and try to come without their spouse. Occasionally,
Patty says, others are denied entry because they gawk
too much, make crude jokes, or give off weird vibes.
"Most have their first taste of nudism
by getting N.I.F.C.," says Pattys, as we cruise by
a row of mobile homes. I see my first naked person ang
gigle to myself. "That means Nude In Front of the
Computer," she continues, reining in my amusement.
"Or, they'll walk around the house nude." We
pass a volleyball game. One guy - clad only in a cropped
T-shirt - jumps up to spike the ball. His penis follows.
I'm simultaneously mesmerized and horrified. Does it hurt?
Patty's first taste of nudism came when
she stopped wearing pj's in high school. "Then I
started skinny-dipping," she explains. The main reason
I became a nudist is because I don't ever want to have
to buy a swimsuit again." She's serious: Bathing
attire is one of the biggest taboos in the world of nudism.
Resort-wear designers, take note.
"Clothing hides who you are."
n a guazy cotton top (it's a little chilly).
Though it's strange to socialize with my pubes showing,
it's also refreshing to be around broads who aren't constantly
in the rest room inspecting their butts in the mirror.
Emily, a curly-haired accountant in her early 30s, couldn't
care less about pathetic preening. She's been dancing
all night with only a sky-blue butterfly clip in her hair,
a big diamond ring on her finger and the determination
to have a good time. She's here with her daughters, her
brother and her fiance, whom she met through a dating
game on the radio. Emily tells me that one of her girls,
who has a surgery scar on her chest, likes coming to Laguna
because nobody is freaked out by her body. "I don't
think [women] should be ashamed to be naked," she
shouts over the pounding beat. "Here, it doesn't
matter what your body looks like. Clothing is a way for
people to hide who they really I stay in one of the motel-like
rooms. It's spacious and clean, with a huge bed, generic
art and a switch-on fireplace. There's even an indoor
pool down the hall. It feels like I'm at the Marriott
- except for the naked people who keep walking by my door.
A water volleyball game is in full swing (No, not that
kind of swing. Get your mind out of the gutter.) I realize
that this is the perfect time to get naked - I can run
and hide in the pool; everyone will be too busy to notice.
I strip, grab my towel and leave the room.
Within seconds, I have a panic attack. I've never had
issues with my body, but now I start to obsess: My butt
feels too bony, and suddenly a Brazilian bikini wax doesn't
seem like such a bad idea. I pray nobody looks at me.
But as soon as I enter the pool area, I'm
relieved. Two women on lounge chairs have 10 times the
pubic hair I do. A college-aged girl sitting by the hot
tub has cellulite. Droopy breasts abound. The variety
of penis sizes and shapes is astounding. I'm buck-naked
in a room full of imperfections, and strangely, it feels
sort of comforting.
Late Friday evening, a DJ kicks off a dance
in the clubhouse. I'm perched by the bar, clad only iare."
Back in my room, I stare at my pajamas.
I put them on and feel like I'm commiting some kind of
terrible crime.
"We're naked, not nuts."
It's Saturday. The temperature is supposed
to top 100 degrees. Outside there's a sea of flesh that's
50 times more tan than mine. Thank God for SPF 45 - I
slather it on every square inch of my pasty white body.
Every square inch.
On my way to Laguna's restaurant for breakfast,
I feel beyond exposed. This is my first time fully naked
in the light of day. Strangers wave and say hi, but nobody
stares. By the time I arrive, I'm feeling unusually relaxed.
I spread a towel down on a vinyl booth (nudist etequette)
and eat my mellon, cottage cheese and muffin platter.
Post-dining, I walk to the main lawn. There's
a volleyball match going on. The organizers are Neil,
a tall, tanned engineer, and his 34-year-old wife, Gigi
(hey, nice name!), a shy costume designer with long blond
hair. Between games, Gigi tells me that nudism helped
her become comfortable with her body. Back when she was
20, she and some friends came across a nude beach. Her
friends joined in but Gigi thought she was "too fat"
to participate. So she sat on a towel all day, sulking.
"By the afternoon, I gave in and took all my clothes
off," she explains.
Today, she and Neil participate in some
form of nude recreation every summer weekend. Gigi has,
at last count, windsurfed, square danced, hiked, biked
and Jet Skied in the buff. Oh, and played volleyball.
The couple has a Web site, www.nakedvolleyball.com, dedicated
to the sport. "People e-mail us and say we need more
pornography on the site," Gigi says, rolling her
eyes. "They don't understand that nudism is not a
sexual thing. We're naked, but not nuts."
Even though I suck at volleyball, I decide
to give it a try. Gigi has inspired me. I forget that
I'm naked as I jump around, run and punch. It's actually
kind of liberating to feel the wind whistle through new
places. Then I dive to catch a low ball. I end up sliding
across the grass on my butt. A spiky burr wedges itself
into one cheek. No more volleyball.
I head off court and run into Lisa. She's
23 years old and about to graduate from college with a
degree in business management. She stunning - sort of
a Natalie Wood/Katie Holmes hybrid. But suprisingly, she
hasn't been getting unwanted atention from any of the
guys. Lisa says her real problem is dealing with the judgements
of clothed people. For example, her roomate: "She
saw my butt [one day]," says Lisa, "and asked
me why I don't have any tan lines." Lisa doesn't
think she'll tell her she's a nudist. "People can
be really immature about it when they find out,"
she sighs.
Nudist myths: Guys walk around with erections. I did not
see a single one. All nudists like volleyball. A survey
of nudists found that most favor swimming, walking and
hiking. Nudists are white trash. Almost a quarter have
a masters or Ph.D. and nearly half make upwards of $50K
a year.
"This whole place is a dressing room!"
Late in the afternoon, I stop by the boutique,
which is run by Lois, a spirited redhead. As I sift through
racks of chiffon floral wraps and try on a Nipple Necklace
- a tiny spray of colorful beads that dangles from your
dockyard rivets - Lois makes small talk. "Some women
ask where the dressing room is," she says, taking
a sip of her Koozie-housed Diet Coke. "I tell them
that this whole place is a dressing room!"
Next, I head to the river. The trail is
gorgeous - fields of tall grass spread in one direction,
willow trees dot the landscape in the other. In the distance
I see a sign tacked to a fence. It's a warning: YOU ARE
LEAVING LAGUNA DEL SOL. CLOTHING REQUIRED BEYOND THIS
POINT. I later hear that farm workders on the other side
of the fence snoop on the nudie people.
I jump into the cool water of the river.
It feels great to swim naked. I climb up on some rocks,
and think about how I'm actually starting to enjoy being
nude. It now feels liberating. But then yelling interrupts
my meditative moment. It's the photographer. I can't hear
her over the rushing water. She points at my leg in desperation.
I see a big bug crawling up my inner thigh, inches from
my genitals. The insects here seem more sexed up than
the people do.
"I had a nude bridal shower."
"The good thing about being nude,"
says India, a bubbly 24-year-old with chunky highlighted
hair, "is that when [my baby] spits up on me, I just
hop in the shower." We're sitting outside the mobile
home that she lives in year-round with her 30-year-old
husband, Bobby, and their cute son. It's the end of the
day and everything is moving slowly. Cows loll about in
a nearby field. A big American flag flaps lazily from
a pole in their immaculately groomed yard.
Bobby is Laguna's groundskeeper, and India
works in town as a hairdresser. They met a few years ago
when she gave him a cut. He soon brought her to Laguna
foa a weekend with his parents. "I grew up strictly
religious," she says. "I wouldn't even wear
a spaghetti-strap tank top in public." But she appreciated
the nudists' nonjudgemental attitude. By Sunday, India
was naked. "At first it was weird being naked around
my boyfriend's parents, though," she notes.
Bobby proposed to India, nude, at Laguna.
"I even had a nude bridal shower," she adds,
smiling. India wants to stay here a long time. She likes
the "gated community" feel. "And each weekend,
we meet a new young couple," she says excitedly.
"I see more people our age here. It doesn't matter
who you are or what you do."
Nudist truths: Tampons are acceptable
attire. "But we advice women to tuck the cord,"
explains Patty. Nudists are clean. One woman told me that
she showers up to five times a day. Nudity is more accepted
in Europe. In France, there's a summer community of 40,000.
Everything is done in the buff, from banking to grocery
shopping.
"Attitudes are changing."
I think about what India says. I haven't
heard one person start a conversation with: "Where
do you work?" Instead, people chat about simple things
like, "How are you today?" or "What SPF
you got on?" It's nice to be at a place where your
career (or lack thereof) doesn't dictate who you are -
housewives and CEOs are on equal footing here. But perhaps
the main reason why we women are drawn to nudism is because
it makes us feel good about our bodies. Emily, Gigi, Lisa
and India all told me as much. And pop culture might actually
be helping the call.
"Attitudes are changing," says
Nicky. "Larger-sized models and actresses are out
there. Nudist organizations are popping up on campuses.
At U Penn, there's a Naturist Student Association. Wesleyan
University has a clothing-optional dorm. I even saw an
ad for salad dressing that shows a young naked couple
on the beach. What does nudity have to do with salad dressing?
I have no idea, but it sends a message that naked bodies
are okay."
By late Sunday, I've forgotten that I'm
naked. At first, I thought nudism was freaky. Now I realize
that it's just a way for people to get comfy with themselves.
And if you ask me, that's a better way to go about it
than dieting or getting plastic surgery.
Nudists also seem to have found a safe way
to escape the pressures of daily life. For me, that's
an appealing concept. I'm simultaneously trying to make
it on my own, establish my career, pay off debt, and figure
out what the hell it is I'm headed for - just like anyone
my age. It's weird, but when you take away your clothes,
it's like you take a vacation from a lot of your worries.
Too bad I'm still addicted to shopping.
